When things don’t go our way, getting frustrated is often our immediate response. Do we understand the impact of such a response on our lives? Are there better ways to deal with life? This article explores these the experience of frustration and how to free ourselves from it. .
Resistance to Life begins with Frustration
Frustration may seem like a pretty harmless emotion. So many of us experience frustration in our daily lives, with ourselves and with others. Actually, frustration is the warning signal that we are saying ‘No!’ to life. Whenever we entertain “NO” to life, at first, it starts as frustration. When we are frustrated, it means that we are not accepting life AS IT IS. Because of our own expectations and judgments, we usually get frustrated when things don’t go our way or don’t work out the way we want them to. Our inner reality, how we feel about what’s happening, doesn’t match up with what’s happening in the outer reality. Left unchecked, frustration can deteriorate into anger, confusion, irritation, violence, self-doubt, and resignation.
The trap of adding psychological suffering
Say, your body has a headache or stomach pain. Don’t shrink. Avoid thinking that “When that headache comes, stomach-ache comes”. Don’t add psychological suffering to it – ‘Oh, if this same continues, what will happen? I am very young. Now itself I am getting headache, and stomach pain! Now, the stomach pain, if it just goes up two inch, it will become chest pain. If the headache comes few inch down, then it will become chest pain. What will happen to me? How long will I live?’ Don’t add psychological sufferings when your body gives some pain. Don’t increase the strength of actual pain.
External and Internal Hell
This way of relating with life puts you in a space that Upanishads call Andhena thamasaa (अन्धेन तमसा)” meaning, “blinding darkness”, the darkness which just makes you blind, shrouded. This is the darkness created by the negative qualities that blind you. This creates hell like situations externally and internally for you.
So how should we respond to such situations? Saying YES to life is the way. Deciding FOR LIFE is the way. One of the important qualities needed to say “YES” to life is tremendous patience. Tremendous patience! Saying YES! YES! YES! every time YES! to life comes from having tremendous patience with life and trusting life.
This does not mean that we accept whatever happens as it is. No! We need to do whatever needs to be done to move towards a situation that we want to create. But we should not have a feeling of frustration, powerlessness, or stress with the situation and with the steps we want to take to improve it. The end state needs to be a place where we are looking forward to engage more with life.
The people with whom you are living – first you, and everyone else around you – their ignorance or inability should not give you frustration, should not make you say “NO” to you. The moment you accept “NO, the moment you say “NO” to expansion, you have started saying “NO” to you. Inability and ignorance of you and the people living around you cannot reduce your creativity or plans to express your peak possibility.
If you have headache, look into it and see: What it is? Why? How much your contribution is there in that headache? And, what is the message body wants to give you through that headache? Have patience to deal with yourself. Have patience to deal with others.
Only tremendous PATIENCE!
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