Worrying is a pattern not YOU!
A small story for all moms out there:
A mother was preparing a meal for her young son. She emptied a tin of beans into a saucepan and put them on the stove to cook. Just then the phone rang. She was expecting the call and wanted to take it, but she was concerned that her son would be left alone for those few minutes when she was away from the room.
She firmly told him, ‘Stay here while I answer the phone. I’ll be back soon. Don’t misbehave, and whatever you do, don’t put those beans up your nose…’
Now this is a typical anxious mom who is even thinking of what her son might do! We always worry about what happened and what might happen also! The boy may not have even thought of putting beans up his nose. Now the mom has planted the idea in his head and if he does it. It will justify her anxiety and worry! And so the cycle continues.
Worry is only an illusion
Worry also comes from the imagination of what might happen or what has happened. It is never from reality. You can test it out by observing your worries and anxiety. Your mind will be chattering away and thinking any of the following thoughts:
What if I am not on time?
What if my son doesn’t get the right grades?
Will she fall into the wrong company?
Will my daughter be successful in this class?
Will he ever kick his bad habits?
These are all assumptions and probabilities and the truth is that worry is not going to help you stop them these things from happening. But we feel that worrying is an action and it is helping us stay on track. Not true! The truth is that anxiety and worry is such that it always goes behind something which is not there. If you have great relationship, it will go after education. If you have education, it will go after wealth. If everything is there, it will suspect what IS!
If you seriously analyse why you are anxious and worried, you will see that 99 percent of them are baseless.
Worry is like a recording in your system that started playing inside you at an early age. Maybe, you picked it from your parents or the environment you grew up. When something is formed at such an early stage. It becomes so closely identified that it becomes our identity. If we didn’t have worries – WHO WOULD WE BE? Just think about it.
There are many solutions out there for anxiety. People will ask you to be more organized, make lists, confide in your friends, and go for therapy and so on.
Yes, if you feel you need to become more organized or are bottling up your feelings, it’s great to confide and use techniques to organize your life. But the big picture here is; if you worry about your kids, chances are you are worrying about other aspects of your life. This shows that worrying is a pattern in you. It is not YOU! It’s just something you picked up along the way and wore it for so long that you forgot that it is not part of you.
The next time you get worried, go deep into the worries with awareness. Look at what you are really worried about. Are they real? Can you do something about them?
If you can – Just do it! And then drop it from your mind.
If they are based on something nobody can predict, just surrender to it and say, ‘Yes, this is something that can happen to anybody. But there is high probability it will not happen too. I am surrendering it to (whoever you believe in) Life/existence. I am not going to carry it with me anymore.
This will relax you tremendously.
Do this short meditation for your anxiety:
Mahamantra (The Great Mantra) meditation is a technique to make your mind centred and integrated, and fill you with energy. The Mahamantra is the essential vibration which is resonating not only in your Being, but in all of Existence. This technique is designed to make your whole body mantramayaa (vibrate with the mantra) through humming. Humming is a powerful means of bringing your awareness to the present moment. If you hum intensely, you cannot have any thought at that time.
This meditation should be done on an empty stomach or two hours after a meal.
Sit in a relaxed way, cross-legged, with your hands on your knees, palms facing upwards. Keep your spine erect. Your head, neck and spine should be in a straight line. Close your eyes. Really close your eyes. Usually, when you close your eyes, it is just like putting off the TV outside and switching on the inner TV. So don’t just close your eyelids – close your eyes! There is a good way to do this: just imagine that your eyeballs have turned to stone! The movement of our eyes is very closely related to the movement of thoughts in our mind. That is why you are asked to arrest the movement of your eyeballs. Just harden your eyeballs with mental pressure; the images in your mind will die. Your thoughts will also stop, or become slow. Don’t be too worried about keeping them arrested. Just proceed with the meditation. Now, with your mouth closed, start humming. Just create the vibration Mmmm. Don’t chant any other mantra, don’t chant Om or Hoom. Imagine your body as an empty vessel. If you put your mouth to it and hum, what sound do you hear? Create that same vibration inside yourself.
Hum as loudly as possible, as deeply as possible, as lengthy as possible. Put your whole effort into your humming. The sound has to come from your naval centre. Don’t attempt any kind of breath control. Your breathing will automatically take care of itself. Just continue humming in an intense yet relaxed manner. Let your whole body be filled with the vibration of the humming. Become the humming!
Whatever thoughts arise, throw them also into the humming. Gradually, they will disappear. After some time, you will feel that the humming continues without your effort and that you have become simply a listener to it!
At the end of twenty minutes, Stop.
Step 2 (10 minutes):
Instantly stop your humming. A great silence floods your Being. For a moment, time stands still. Witness this silence. Experience the tremendous calm in and around you. During this time, the energy created by the humming enters all the corners of your being and cleanse it deeply. It establishes you in the awareness of the present moment. This awareness is all that is needed to dissolve the negativities, bring clarity and enable you to experience your true potential.
After a short while, thoughts will slowly start entering into this silence. Don’t stop them; don’t enter into them. Simply witness these thoughts. Remain silent and blissful. You will feel completely centered, calm.